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  GODDAMN ELECTRIC NIGHTS

  WILLIAM PAULEY III

  Published by New Flesh Books

  August 2011

  Goddamn Electric Nights

  eBook exclusive

  Copyright © 2011 by William Pauley III. All rights reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction.

  Cover art and design copyright © William Pauley III

  www.breaksaidsilence.com

  No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author or the publisher.

  $5 ELECTRIC SUZIE was originally published by Library of Bizarro Horror in the anthology TECHNICOLOR TENTACLES.

  THE SPIDERS OF HONEYVILLE was originally published by New Flesh Books in the anthology TOE TAGS 2: BLOOD & BIZARRO and reprinted by Copeland Valley Press in the COPELAND VALLEY SAMPLER.

  INSECTION 8 was originally published by Panic Press in the anthology CREATURE FEATURES (published under the title THE THIRD FLOOR) and reprinted by Copeland Valley Press in the COPELAND VALLEY SAMPLER.

  Also by William Pauley III

  Automated Daydreaming (forthcoming)

  Demolition Ya-Ya (forthcoming)

  The Doom Magnetic! trilogy (forthcoming)

  The Brothers Crunk

  LIVINHELL

  If You Don’t Sleep, You Don’t Dream

  Mr. Malin and the Night

  This book is dedicated to Sullivan Dax Pauley

  CONTENTS

  CONTENTS

  $5 ELECTRIC SUZIE

  THE SPIDERS OF HONEYVILLE

  INSECTION 8

  $5 ELECTRIC SUZIE

  Suzie was humming when I found her.

  Back then I used to live in that garbage heap. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean. I was addicted to the goddamn place. Four acres of discarded treasures separated into thirty piles, stacked as high as small mountains. Oh, those sweet metallic juggernauts, how I loved them so. And only five dollars for whatever I could carry out in my hands. That place was more responsible for my upbringing than either of my parents ever were. They spent most their time with empty glass bottles and dirty bathroom floors. They’ve long ago lost touch with what really matters in life. This world has so much to offer, but everyone thinks the only way to get past all the shit is to go about it the traditional way – good jobs, raises, promotions – but there’s another way. An easier way.

  She was hidden beneath a pile of soiled mattresses and some scrap metal. I had almost given up my hunt for the day when the sun quickly and very mysteriously began to lower, shining its red rays directly on her. It felt something like divine intervention. As if the entire universe wanted me to find her. To have her. To hold her. Till death do us part. I lifted the mattresses and the metal off her and tossed them aside. I wasn’t prepared for her beauty. I guess in a lot of ways, I’m still overwhelmed by it. Her slender curves, her pink skin, her perfect mouth… her sexy little pinch roller. Even the lettering of her name, ELECTRIC SUZIE, written across her top right corner, felt majestic in the way it sparkled under the sunlight.

  Suzie was by far the most breathtaking VCR I had ever laid eyes on.

  I took her to the pay window and paid the guy his $5. He was watching an old episode of THE A-TEAM on his computer monitor. He took the cash and stuffed it in the drawer without even looking up at me once. And it’s a good thing too, ‘cause if he knew what I had in my hands that day, he never would have let me leave with her. Not for all the money in the world. At least I wouldn’t have if I was the one in charge.

  I ran all the way home and didn’t even stop running once I got there. I nearly broke the door down, I was running so fast. I ran back to my bedroom and spun the lock shut. If I was smart, I probably would have worried about what a beautiful thing like Suzie was doing in a garbage heap, but at the time the thought never even crossed my mind. She could have been faulty. She could have had a short in her that caused somebody’s house to burn down. But for some reason I didn’t have a worry in my head. Something inside me knew she was perfect. And boy was I ever right. She was perfect. More than perfect. She was an electric angel.

  I fumbled through the wires and plugged them into the back of the television set. Snuck back out into the hallway and down to my parent’s bedroom where they kept all their VHS cassettes. There weren’t many, but there were more than I could carry out in my hands. I grabbed what I could and raced back to my bedroom, tossing the cassettes on the floor and again locking the door behind me. No one was to know about my $5 Electric Suzie but me. I’ve always been greedy in that way. I didn’t want to share her. Hell, I couldn’t share her. I needed her all to myself.

  I looked through the tapes. PARTY PLANE, EMANUELLE 5, SERENA… the titles didn’t sound familiar to me, but that didn’t matter to me none. All of the covers sported half naked females spread across random items of furniture – beds, tables, chairs, hell one was even spread across a kitchen countertop. I picked up one labeled THE STORY OF O and placed it inside Suzie’s mouth. Suzie’s low hum turned into a short sigh, then a loud moan, as the gears started to turn. For about two full seconds I saw the image of a naked woman stepping into the shower, then the video stopped. The screen turned blue. I looked down at Suzie, who was humming just as quietly as before, but I hadn’t noticed anything else out of the ordinary. No fire, no smoke, no sparks. I hit play again. Again the image appeared for only a split second and the screen turned blue again.

  “Damn it!” I yelled at the TV. Not at Suzie, never at Suzie.

  I hit the play button again. Same results. But this time I had noticed something different. A voice. I hit play again.

  “Jack…” the voice said. A sexy female voice. A sexy female voice was saying my name. I hit play again.

  “Blah…” it says this time, and goes off again. Blah?

  Play.

  “Duh…” Every time I’d hit play, the image and sound would display for a shorter amount of time then the time before it.

  “Blah… Duh… Blah… Duh…”

  I finally ejected the tape, but the tape wouldn’t come out. I lifted the flap of the tape deck and took a peek inside. It was just as I had expected. Suzie had eaten the tape. I pulled out my pocket knife and dug the blade into her mouth, trying to loosen her grasp and pull out the tape. Suzie’s hum morphed and screeched like a needle being pulled across a vinyl record. It was so loud and sudden that it startled me, causing me to drag the blade across my left index finger.

  “Goddamn it!” I shouted, sucking the leaking blood from my finger.

  Suddenly tape began to spew from her mouth in all directions as if something, maybe the tape itself, had made her very ill. I tried to collect all the squirming worms of tape in my arms as they shot out her mouth, but there was just too much to keep up.

  “What the hell, Suzie?” I yell, “What’s gotten into you?”

  All at once she stopped squealing and spewing tape. She was silent for a moment. The blue screen of the television painted the room with light. Then I noticed a strange clicking sound. It was faint at first, but it gradually grew louder. I moved closer towards Suzie, swimming through the sea of tape between us. She was still clicking. I couldn’t tell for sure, but it seemed to be getting… faster. I lifted the flap of her tape deck mouth and leaned over to take a peek inside. Suzie made one final click and spit the VHS tape directly at my forehead at the speed of goddamn sound. I fell flat on my back. may have been unconscious for a moment or two, I don’t know, I can’t remember for sure, but what I do remember is whenever I finally got up off the floor, Suzie and I were one. We were connected. I instantly knew her every need, her every want, her every desire. Blah. Duh. She want
ed blood. My blood.

  And I wanted to give it to her.

  I could feel a pulse at the end of my finger. Blood would spurt from the gash with every beat. I wiped my thumb over the wound, pulling the skin back to see how deep the cut was. It was pretty deep, but it was a straight cut. If bandaged properly, I wouldn’t even need stitches.

  I looked over at Suzie. It was as if I could see her moving, squirming. Her body needed me. She was begging for me to come closer, for me to stick my bloody finger in her mouth so she could suck me dry. I was connected to her now. I could see all of this without her showing me anything. I knew what she wanted. Me.

  I got on my knees and knee-walked over to her again. I rested my face against hers and gently petted the top of her case.

  “You want me, don’t you, Suzie?” I whispered to her. “You need me. You need this.”

  I rubbed the tip of my bloody finger along the edge of her tape deck mouth. The color display on the TV was no longer blue but instead a whole range of warm colors – oranges, reds, yellows – all swirling into the next like some endless whirlpool.

  “Blah. Duh,” she whispered back at me through the television speakers. I pushed my finger deep into her mouth and squeezed a few drops into her. The colors on the screen began to flitter and strobe, so much so that my eyes were having difficulty focusing. I wasn’t for certain if it was the rapid flashes of color messing with me or if it was really happening, but for a few seconds, very faintly, I saw a face. Her face, Suzie’s face, staring back at me through the television screen. But only for a few seconds. Then she was gone.

  I again squeezed my finger into her mouth, this time giving her a generous amount of my blood. The colors strobed and very loudly I could hear her breathing, taking in air in giant gulps, as if it were a glass of water and she had been stranded somewhere for weeks without it. Maybe even years.

  And then she was there with me again… on the television screen. She smiled at me this time and goddamnit, it was electric. I had never seen anything more beautiful in my entire life up to that point, or even after that, to tell you the truth. She had on thick blue eye-shadow with long black eyelashes, like the movie stars from the ‘50s used to have. Her lips were bright red and always looked wet. She had a beauty mark on the right side of her upper lip. The rest of her face was bright white and didn’t seem to have an end, stretching all the way out to the edges of the television screen. I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I sat there on my knees staring, admiring her beauty. She held her smile the entire time. She almost seemed a little shy towards me.

  After about a minute had passed, she was gone again. And my heart stopped.

  I sat there in the darkness, unmoving, for what seemed like a lifetime. I didn’t know what to do. I had found the most beautiful woman in the entire world, but I couldn’t keep her living. I couldn’t give her any more blood, at least not the amount that she needed. Or could I? I mean, I simply couldn’t keep feeding her my blood. Eventually I would die and someone else would find her. No, it had to come from someone else.

  I started with my parents. As I mentioned before, they never appreciated the gift of life anyway. My first time killing was by far the hardest for me mentally, but the easiest for me emotionally. I didn’t love my parents, they were strangers to me, but I also wasn’t a murderer. Not yet, anyway. So I had to do it while they were sleeping.

  To keep from seeing their faces, I covered them up with a pillow. Being just a boy then, I didn’t have the strength to overpower and suffocate them, so I stuck the pillow over their faces and slit their throats with my pocket knife… before they even had a chance to open their eyes. Before they had the chance to get a good look at their killer - me, their only son - and look at me in the eyes. If they had, it would have been the first time they’d ever done so.

  I dragged their dead bodies into my bedroom and hacked them up one piece at a time, feeding Suzie the raw slabs of dripping meat, bones and all, until they were completely gone. It only took Suzie a week to finish the two of them off. She didn’t even give them a chance to stink before she gobbled them up and asked for more. And I wanted to give her more. I wanted to give her everything she needed. So I did.

  I went out and found more meat. More blood. More bodies. Anyone and everyone that I could lure into my house. The easiest was other children. Friends of mine. They gave me no trouble. It was around my fifth or sixth kill that I became numb to it all. It just didn’t affect me anymore. Not mentally. Not emotionally. And as the years went on, it wasn’t difficult for me physically either. The hardest part was that I was always moving, always on the go. I never got the chance to rest. Even if I wanted to stop feeding her, I couldn’t. I’d always hear her screaming, crying, begging me for more. We were connected, mentally connected. I could have taken her back where I found her, buried her beneath all of those mattresses and scrap metal pieces, but it wouldn’t have made any difference. She would still be screaming. And I would always hear her screaming.

  Over fifty years have passed and still, I feed her. I’ve been dedicated to her ever since the day I first saw her smile at me through that convex television screen. I’ve killed so many people. More than any other human in the history of humans, even terrorists, I’m sure. Terrorists kill hundreds or even thousands all in one shot. I’ve killed mine over the span of an entire lifetime. And I don’t feel bad. I don’t regret anything. I’ve spent my life with the most beautiful woman in the world. We’ve had a happy life together.

  But now I’m getting tired. I’m an old man now. Suzie hasn’t aged a day. I’m not even sure that she understands the changes that are happening to me. I’m slowing down. Getting weak. I won’t be able to take care of her much longer.

  In all of those years, there’s only been one thing that I’ve wanted to do that I never got to. In all those years, we never kissed. I’m getting old. Weak. I don’t want to die not knowing what it’s like to kiss her.

  I kneel down beside her and stroke my hands over her hard pink shell. I trace the letters of her name with my index finger. They still shimmer the same way they did all those years ago. A tear forms at the corner of my eyes as I lean in to kiss her. I bury my tongue into her mouth, tasting her insides. Electric. It’s even more wonderful than I had ever imagined.

  As she begins to suck in and chew away at my face, all I can think about is how I hope whoever finds her next makes her as happy as I always have.

  THE SPIDERS OF HONEYVILLE

  PART ONE

  THE DAY OF THE SNAKE

  Mrs. Dorothy Sanders is one hot piece of ass. She’s got big beautiful bleached blonde hair, a pair of gorgeous tits and a tight round ass she shakes for all the men-folk. She calls me up from time to time sayin’ she needs her pipes cleaned (she says that I am the best in town, heh heh). I’d say I’ve plugged her pipe at least twice a month since her husband fell down that elevator shaft two years ago.

  My beeper buzzes. I put down my tools and angle the LCD screen away from the light. It reads: (o)(o). Speak of the devil.

  I stand up, pull my gloves off my hands, and ask the lady of the house if I can use the telephone. Normally, I don’t like to stop in the middle of a job to make a personal call, but for Mrs. Sanders I’ll do just about any damn thing she needs. I pick up the receiver and dial her number. I lick my lips and clear my throat. I want my voice to sound deep, sexy-like. She answers.

  “Hello…”

  “Hey baby, how’s it -”

  “Red? Is that you, Red?” she interrupts anxiously.

  “Yeah, baby, it’s me… you need ol’ Red to come give you some -”

  “Goddamnit, Red! Get your scrawny ass over here and help me!” She sounds desperate.

  “Wha- what’s wrong, honey?”

  “There’s a goddamn snake stuck in the bathtub drain, Red! I’ve got me a hair appointment down at Dolly’s in an hour! I need to finish my shower and get down there! Now get your ass over here and get it out!”

&nb
sp; I love it when she orders me around like this. She’s a real woman. I breathe hot an’ heavy into the phone.

  “Goddamnit, Red! I need you as a plumber today!”

  Click. She hangs up the phone. I pack up my tools and load up the truck. It’s just the first of the month. Damn, she’s wantin’ it bad, heh heh.

  She answers the door completely naked and pulls me inside by the front of my coveralls. She doesn’t speak a word, she just pushes me into the bathroom and points feverishly at the snake stuck in the drain, her titties bouncin’ against one another like a couple sumo wrestlers.

  “Okay, okay…” I say pulling my clothing out of her grasp, “Damn, woman. Just let me work!”

  She nervously chews her fingernails.

  I set the toolbox down at my feet. I kneel and put on my red leather gloves. I hear a hiss and then a scream. The scream came from Mrs. Sanders. The hiss came from the demon serpent now barin’ its fangs about an inch away from my upper lip. Its body is straight as an arrow and venom is drippin’ from the tips of its fangs and pooling on the floor below. This is one mean motherfucker.

  Quickly, I snatch the hammer from my toolbox and stick the claw-end into the body of the snake, just a hair below its wild-snapping skull. I pull with enough force that it pops the wretch’s head right off and sends the bloody ball hurling through the air – I nearly lose my balance when it does. Mrs. Sanders screams and bounces up and down with joy. I walk over to her perfect naked body and grab her ass with both hands.

  “You still got a couple minutes free, dontchu?” I say with a sly grin. She smiles back. I drop my coveralls to the floor.

  A strange stench pollutes the air – it smells like a perfect mix of skunk and orange juice. Me and Mrs. Sanders look back at the lifeless, headless body of the snake lying in the tub. A thick yellow fog is spewing from the bloody hole in its neck where its head used to be.